Post by jpnut on Aug 6, 2003 6:53:53 GMT -5
MT/R does not stand for Manure Terrain Rated
Or MT/R’s are not good in Manure
Or How to coat your wife with manure flying off your tires
Or what to say if your wife says go get her Jeep and use it
Well there I was sitting watching Wheel of Fortune, my favorite show in the whole world (note the sarcasm). Diane tells me, she’s going out the barn for a little bit. I tell her to have fun and let me know if you need anything. Mistake #1, don’t volunteer. So she comes back and tells me that we need to fill the water trough for the horses. I protest stating that I am watching my favorite show and am trying to figure out who designed Vanna’s dress. Well Diane knows that I really don’t care for Wheel, so I head out to the barn and Diane tells me that we need to put out some hay. Well putting out hay is a little involved since I need to move a 1500lb round bale. First let me say that round bales are not really round and they do not like to roll especially up an incline. Well since I have just put a trench in the area where the round bales are usually delivered, I had them dropped off by the driveway in front of the house. So access to moving them involves driving the TJ around to the gravel road that parallels the property, driving through a ditch and up a bank. No big deal, I did it about a month ago. So as I get the Jeep in place and get it lined up with the round bale and barn, I decide I can drive the Jeep out into the field dragging the round bale. Well you have to drive through a section of the barn that resembles a run in between two support poles. Well I have been on Findley ridge and made it through there so I figured this would be no big deal.
Did I mention that we have been getting rain lately? It becomes a factor later.
Well just outside the barn is a manure pile that is about 4’ high. It’s kind of in my way for getting lined up so I figure a few passed over it will knock it down. Ever been high centered on a manure pile? I have. So I get it mashed down by putting some tracks thru it to give me my line. I back up to the front of the house to put a strap on the bale and hook it to the back of the TJ on the high side because of where the bale is sitting I know from past experiences which way it is going to roll once I start pulling, down hill. Now I’m all set. Diane asks if she gets to ride shotgun. A quick answer of no and an explanation that I need her to watch the bale. I drag it up to the barn bouncing off a tree and stop so that Diane can open the gate. She opens the gate, I start to pull into the barn and realize that the water trough is going to be in the way. So I hop out of the Jeep and tell Diane we have to move the trough. She comments that we should have done that before we filled it with 100 gallons of water and that it’s not going to move. Ok, a mistake on her part, don’t tell me that I’m not going to do something; you know now it is going to happen even if I end up with a hernia. So slowly I slide the trough around almost getting it turned around but it’s hard to lift the end and then slide it. It’s slow going and Diane gives me a hand, as the water is sloshing around which will be helpful later in making mud. Now with that out of the way, I maneuver the TJ into place so I can go between the 2 posts all the while having a round bale attached to the back of the Jeep. Well I get it lined up but as I’m doing that I drag the bale into the fence for the dogs yard. I jump out determined to push the 1500lb round bale off of the fence while it is under tension from the strap and Jeep. Nope, ain’t gonna happen, no way, no how. Diane suggests that I go and get her XJ and bring it up and push the bale off of the fence. I mutter ok but remember you said to use your Jeep. I go get her XJ, drive over to the ditch and bank and engage 4 low. Line it up, slowly go through the ditch to leave the front valance on the XJ, start to head up the bank, it starts to spin so I give it more gas hoping it will start to bite. Nope. So I back up a little only to hear a bunch of crunching noise. Guess I should have taken the hitch out of the receiver. Then suddenly the exhaust starts to sound very strained. Great, that’s all I need, to be replacing an exhaust. I pull forward a little to see what’s going on. I shut off the XJ open the door and go to step out only to fall out of the Jeep and down the bank into the ditch twisting my ankle. I get up and look around to make sure no one saw me, like there is anyone around. I walk around to the back of the XJ and don’t see the receiver or the ball. Later I find out that it is about 2” under ground. I go over to the passenger side to look at the exhaust and it’s pressed to the ground. Well that’s one stuck and it’s starting to get dark. I walk up the hill and Diane asks me why I didn’t drive the XJ up. I mutter it’s stuck. So I go back to the TJ to once again try to move the bale. I back the Jeep up a little but the bale is stuck. I can’t pull forward because it just pulls it into the fence and I don’t feel like fixing the fence tonight. Diane tells me that if I back the Jeep up and make a straight pull it would pull it off the fence but I’ve already lined up the Jeep between the poles. So I back the Jeep out going back and forth and line up to do a straight pull. Now as I pull into the barn the area is about 4-5’ longer than the Jeep. I try to slowly pull forward. Nope won’t work. So it’s time to drive it like you stole it, drive it like it’s paid off and you have a Jeep for spare parts. So I put my foot in it concentrating on the shrinking space in front of the Jeep. Diane yells it’s moving, go a little further. A little more go pedal. Diane is yelling again and I figure she is cheering me on. Wrong, I just coated my wife with the horse manure flying off the tires. If that doesn’t test your relationship nothing will. But the bale is now off of the fence and I can re-align the Jeep to head out to the pasture. So after I get the TJ aligned I hear Diane say that the TJ is touching on the passenger side. I peer out the driver’s side, same thing here. We’re rubbing on both sides. At this point I’m committed. I can’t get the Jeep out because the bale is in the way. I can’t move the bale out to the field because the TJ is in the way. I tell Diane to stand on the other side of the gate in case the bale rolls that way (who ever said the world is flat was wrong). As I pull forward, the bale rolls toward the gate, into the gate, throwing the gate into Diane and throws her backwards. She yells and I stop getting the TJ stuck (didn’t know at the time). I jump out of the TJ into a mixture of mud and manure in which I sink about 8”. Did I mention that I was wearing shorts and loafer type shoes? This was supposed to be easy and quick why change into something appropriate. We maneuver the bale to clear the first pole. I climb back over to the TJ, get in and try to move forward. Nope not happening. Diane gives a few directions, I back up a little and let it rip once again coating Diane with manure. It’s flying everywhere, in the TJ, on the TJ, it’s bouncing off the top. I move about 1-½ feet. I back up again a little, get on it again, spray Diane again, and move another foot. Time to move the bale a little more. I jump out of the TJ, into the mixture again (you would think that I would have learned my lesson right?). Get the bale moved to clear the poles, go to get back into the TJ, at this point I have this manure mixture all the way up to my knees, on my arms and on my gloves which I just grabbed the steering wheel with. Well time to drive it like you stole it and hope that the horses move since they are now standing in front of the Jeep watching the action. I start moving, the bale starts moving and we’re off to the pasture.
Well now that that is done, I still have to get the TJ back out of the pasture. Well I know that it will fit because I just came through there but I’ve made some trenches from spinning which are steering me into the poles, rub a flare here, rub a flare there. I decide that it’s probably best to back up and reposition the TJ. It is now dark and hard to see since there are no lights in the barn. I make it back out sliding back and forth into the 2 pole rubbing flares and sidewalls. Now to get the XJ free.
I turn the TJ to face down hill so that I can have some light but with the tires caked I don’t want to drive to far down the bank so I end up lighting the woods across the road. I walk down the bank with a shovel, slip, fall get up and proceed to dig out the hitch. Man is that thing buried. Get it dug out and dig a little more behind so I don’t bury it again. Now for the exhaust. I gently dig, going by sound for the most part because I can’t see in the dark and can’t dig and hold a flashlight at the same time. Diane calls down the bank to see what she can do. She comes down to hold the flashlight. I dig a little more and call it good. I get in the XJ, fire it up and start to back up slowly. I moved about a foot when Diane called out for me to stop. I guess I didn’t dig out enough dirt. So back to the shovel, dig a little more and it was enough. Drove the XJ back up to the house and went back to bring up the TJ. I found that the wet grass and manure caked tires slide a little bit. Got down to the road, switched back into 2-wheel drive and drove up to the house. When I went in the dogs were so excited to see me, well maybe it was more my newfound odor that I now had. It was 10pm at this point so I decided to clean up and go to bed.
So how was your evening? Do anything exciting?
Or MT/R’s are not good in Manure
Or How to coat your wife with manure flying off your tires
Or what to say if your wife says go get her Jeep and use it
Well there I was sitting watching Wheel of Fortune, my favorite show in the whole world (note the sarcasm). Diane tells me, she’s going out the barn for a little bit. I tell her to have fun and let me know if you need anything. Mistake #1, don’t volunteer. So she comes back and tells me that we need to fill the water trough for the horses. I protest stating that I am watching my favorite show and am trying to figure out who designed Vanna’s dress. Well Diane knows that I really don’t care for Wheel, so I head out to the barn and Diane tells me that we need to put out some hay. Well putting out hay is a little involved since I need to move a 1500lb round bale. First let me say that round bales are not really round and they do not like to roll especially up an incline. Well since I have just put a trench in the area where the round bales are usually delivered, I had them dropped off by the driveway in front of the house. So access to moving them involves driving the TJ around to the gravel road that parallels the property, driving through a ditch and up a bank. No big deal, I did it about a month ago. So as I get the Jeep in place and get it lined up with the round bale and barn, I decide I can drive the Jeep out into the field dragging the round bale. Well you have to drive through a section of the barn that resembles a run in between two support poles. Well I have been on Findley ridge and made it through there so I figured this would be no big deal.
Did I mention that we have been getting rain lately? It becomes a factor later.
Well just outside the barn is a manure pile that is about 4’ high. It’s kind of in my way for getting lined up so I figure a few passed over it will knock it down. Ever been high centered on a manure pile? I have. So I get it mashed down by putting some tracks thru it to give me my line. I back up to the front of the house to put a strap on the bale and hook it to the back of the TJ on the high side because of where the bale is sitting I know from past experiences which way it is going to roll once I start pulling, down hill. Now I’m all set. Diane asks if she gets to ride shotgun. A quick answer of no and an explanation that I need her to watch the bale. I drag it up to the barn bouncing off a tree and stop so that Diane can open the gate. She opens the gate, I start to pull into the barn and realize that the water trough is going to be in the way. So I hop out of the Jeep and tell Diane we have to move the trough. She comments that we should have done that before we filled it with 100 gallons of water and that it’s not going to move. Ok, a mistake on her part, don’t tell me that I’m not going to do something; you know now it is going to happen even if I end up with a hernia. So slowly I slide the trough around almost getting it turned around but it’s hard to lift the end and then slide it. It’s slow going and Diane gives me a hand, as the water is sloshing around which will be helpful later in making mud. Now with that out of the way, I maneuver the TJ into place so I can go between the 2 posts all the while having a round bale attached to the back of the Jeep. Well I get it lined up but as I’m doing that I drag the bale into the fence for the dogs yard. I jump out determined to push the 1500lb round bale off of the fence while it is under tension from the strap and Jeep. Nope, ain’t gonna happen, no way, no how. Diane suggests that I go and get her XJ and bring it up and push the bale off of the fence. I mutter ok but remember you said to use your Jeep. I go get her XJ, drive over to the ditch and bank and engage 4 low. Line it up, slowly go through the ditch to leave the front valance on the XJ, start to head up the bank, it starts to spin so I give it more gas hoping it will start to bite. Nope. So I back up a little only to hear a bunch of crunching noise. Guess I should have taken the hitch out of the receiver. Then suddenly the exhaust starts to sound very strained. Great, that’s all I need, to be replacing an exhaust. I pull forward a little to see what’s going on. I shut off the XJ open the door and go to step out only to fall out of the Jeep and down the bank into the ditch twisting my ankle. I get up and look around to make sure no one saw me, like there is anyone around. I walk around to the back of the XJ and don’t see the receiver or the ball. Later I find out that it is about 2” under ground. I go over to the passenger side to look at the exhaust and it’s pressed to the ground. Well that’s one stuck and it’s starting to get dark. I walk up the hill and Diane asks me why I didn’t drive the XJ up. I mutter it’s stuck. So I go back to the TJ to once again try to move the bale. I back the Jeep up a little but the bale is stuck. I can’t pull forward because it just pulls it into the fence and I don’t feel like fixing the fence tonight. Diane tells me that if I back the Jeep up and make a straight pull it would pull it off the fence but I’ve already lined up the Jeep between the poles. So I back the Jeep out going back and forth and line up to do a straight pull. Now as I pull into the barn the area is about 4-5’ longer than the Jeep. I try to slowly pull forward. Nope won’t work. So it’s time to drive it like you stole it, drive it like it’s paid off and you have a Jeep for spare parts. So I put my foot in it concentrating on the shrinking space in front of the Jeep. Diane yells it’s moving, go a little further. A little more go pedal. Diane is yelling again and I figure she is cheering me on. Wrong, I just coated my wife with the horse manure flying off the tires. If that doesn’t test your relationship nothing will. But the bale is now off of the fence and I can re-align the Jeep to head out to the pasture. So after I get the TJ aligned I hear Diane say that the TJ is touching on the passenger side. I peer out the driver’s side, same thing here. We’re rubbing on both sides. At this point I’m committed. I can’t get the Jeep out because the bale is in the way. I can’t move the bale out to the field because the TJ is in the way. I tell Diane to stand on the other side of the gate in case the bale rolls that way (who ever said the world is flat was wrong). As I pull forward, the bale rolls toward the gate, into the gate, throwing the gate into Diane and throws her backwards. She yells and I stop getting the TJ stuck (didn’t know at the time). I jump out of the TJ into a mixture of mud and manure in which I sink about 8”. Did I mention that I was wearing shorts and loafer type shoes? This was supposed to be easy and quick why change into something appropriate. We maneuver the bale to clear the first pole. I climb back over to the TJ, get in and try to move forward. Nope not happening. Diane gives a few directions, I back up a little and let it rip once again coating Diane with manure. It’s flying everywhere, in the TJ, on the TJ, it’s bouncing off the top. I move about 1-½ feet. I back up again a little, get on it again, spray Diane again, and move another foot. Time to move the bale a little more. I jump out of the TJ, into the mixture again (you would think that I would have learned my lesson right?). Get the bale moved to clear the poles, go to get back into the TJ, at this point I have this manure mixture all the way up to my knees, on my arms and on my gloves which I just grabbed the steering wheel with. Well time to drive it like you stole it and hope that the horses move since they are now standing in front of the Jeep watching the action. I start moving, the bale starts moving and we’re off to the pasture.
Well now that that is done, I still have to get the TJ back out of the pasture. Well I know that it will fit because I just came through there but I’ve made some trenches from spinning which are steering me into the poles, rub a flare here, rub a flare there. I decide that it’s probably best to back up and reposition the TJ. It is now dark and hard to see since there are no lights in the barn. I make it back out sliding back and forth into the 2 pole rubbing flares and sidewalls. Now to get the XJ free.
I turn the TJ to face down hill so that I can have some light but with the tires caked I don’t want to drive to far down the bank so I end up lighting the woods across the road. I walk down the bank with a shovel, slip, fall get up and proceed to dig out the hitch. Man is that thing buried. Get it dug out and dig a little more behind so I don’t bury it again. Now for the exhaust. I gently dig, going by sound for the most part because I can’t see in the dark and can’t dig and hold a flashlight at the same time. Diane calls down the bank to see what she can do. She comes down to hold the flashlight. I dig a little more and call it good. I get in the XJ, fire it up and start to back up slowly. I moved about a foot when Diane called out for me to stop. I guess I didn’t dig out enough dirt. So back to the shovel, dig a little more and it was enough. Drove the XJ back up to the house and went back to bring up the TJ. I found that the wet grass and manure caked tires slide a little bit. Got down to the road, switched back into 2-wheel drive and drove up to the house. When I went in the dogs were so excited to see me, well maybe it was more my newfound odor that I now had. It was 10pm at this point so I decided to clean up and go to bed.
So how was your evening? Do anything exciting?
